# David Cervera Therapy
> Online therapy for faith deconstruction and religious trauma across the UK.
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## Pages
### About David
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/about/
Last updated: 2026-08-23T18:33:29.000Z
![](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/content/images/2026/08/82ccd8_ec9893a684414c9ba1e51b28dc72755f-mv2.png)

David Cervera - integrative therapist

It can feel really exhausting living between two worlds. Showing up to places and for people around you, but knowing inside that something is shifting or has fundamentally shifted.   
  
Perhaps they were beliefs that created structure for your whole life, but now no longer feel they do, no longer feel safe… and there’s almost nobody you can say that out loud to.   
  
I work with people in exactly this place.   
  
My name is David. I’m an integrative counsellor based in London and working online with clients across the UK. I specialise in working with people through faith deconstruction, religious harm, and all the identity questions that follow when the framework you grew up with or supported you, stops making sense. 

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)

  
**Why this work, specifically?**   
I’ve spent twenty years working closely within different religious communities - in pastoral care, creative leadership, strategy and community support. I understand the culture from the inside: the language, structures, the unspoken rules, the shame that gets woven into people from an early age. I know what it costs to start asking questions, and I know how isolating it can feel when those closest to you don’t understand why you’re struggling, and maybe even you don’t too.   
  
**Who I tend to work with:**   
\- **People who have left (or are desperately wanting to leave) a religious community** and are carrying grief, anxiety, and confusion they don't quite have words for yet  
\- **People managing fallout with family and friends**   
\- **LGBTQIA+ people** who grew up in faith communities where their identity was unwelcome   
\- **Parents** who want to raise their children with warmth and freedom; deliberately different from how they were raised themselves   
\- **People** **who are fundamentally rethinking who they are**   
  
How I work:  
I'm an integrative counsellor, which means I draw on several approaches (person-centred, psychodynamic, and CBT-informed) depending on what's most useful for you. I hold a Level 4 Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling and am a registered member of the BACP.  
More than any model, I try to offer something simple: a space where you don't have to manage anyone else's feelings about what you're going through. A non-judgemental space where you can just breathe. 

  
Sessions are online, across the UK, and I offer a free 20-minute introductory call so you can get a feel for whether we're the right fit before committing to anything.

  
If any of this sounds like where you are, I'd love to hear from you.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Working Together
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/working-together/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T17:10:29.000Z
What to expect in Therapy:   
Starting therapy can feel like a big step. My aim is to make the process clear and approachable so you know what to expect.  
While I specialise in faith deconstruction and identity transitions, I also work with a range of other issues, such as anxiety, relationships, and life transitions more broadly. If you're not sure whether we're a good fit, the free 20 minute call is the best way to find out.

Your First Session:   
The first session is an opportunity to talk about what brings you to therapy and what support you’re looking for. You don't need to prepare anything at all.

We’ll explore:  
 • What has brought you to therapy  
 • How you hope therapy will help you   
 • Why now? 

You are free to speak at your own pace; there’s no pressure to share everything straight away.

How I Work:  
I’m an integrative counsellor, drawing on different approaches depending on your needs. Sessions may include:

 • Understanding your thoughts, feelings, and patterns  
 • Exploring how past experiences influence the present  
 • Making your unconsciousness, conscious   
 • Supporting your relationships and personal growth

My role isn’t to fix you but to work alongside you respectfully and collaboratively.

Session Structure & Pace:  
 • Duration: 50 minutes per session  
 • Frequency: Most people start weekly; we can adjust this over time  
 • Sessions provide a safe space to reflect, process, and gain insight  
 • Everything you bring: frustration, grief, anger, or confusion, is welcome

Practical Details:  
 • Fee: £75 per session   
 • Availability: Online, Monday-Friday 10am-3pm; limited evening slots.   
 • Consultation: Free 20-minute call to see if we’re a good fit  
 • Payment to be made before or on the day of the session via bank transfer  
 • You’re free to end therapy at any time with good notice so we are able to end our work together well. 

Next Steps:  
To begin, get in touch to arrange your free 20 minute intro session.

[Book your free 20min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Say Hello
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact/
Last updated: 2026-09-10T18:10:48.000Z
# 

Starting therapy can feel like a big step, and it’s completely normal to feel unsure about what to say or how to begin. If you’re thinking about working together, you’re welcome to use the form below, or if that's overwhelming just send me a quick email. You don’t need to have everything figured out; just share whatever feels comfortable.

I offer a free 20-minute consultation so we can get a sense of each other, talk through what’s brought you here, and see whether it feels like a good fit. There’s no pressure to continue; it’s simply a chance to meet, ask questions, and get a feel for how I work.

### My availability

Please find my current availability in the form below. Do use the extra box if you're reaching out but you're not ready for an intro session yet. 

## If you’re unsure about reaching out: 

It’s very common to worry about saying too much, not enough, or 'the wrong thing', but you can’t get this wrong!

The form below is simply an invitation to start a conversation and even if you’re not certain what you need yet, you’re welcome to get in touch.​

## If you're in crisis: 

​Email isn’t suitable for urgent or emergency support.  
If you need immediate help, please contact your GP, NHS 111, or Samaritans 116 123

**Get in touch below. Feel free to ask any questions or book a free 20 minute introductory session.**

**Please check your junk/spam filters incase my email address (**[**hello@davidcerveratherapy.com**](mailto:hello@davidcerveratherapy.com)**) heads there.**
### Therapy for Faith Deconstruction and Religious Trauma (Spiritual Abuse Recovery)
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/faithandreligion/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T17:18:29.000Z
Hi, I'm David, an integrative therapist working online from the UK.

Over twenty years in religious communities (pastoral care, creative leadership, and community support) means I understand the culture, the language, the unspoken rules - and how quickly shame, fear, and “spiritual pressure” can become wired into a person from an early age.

If you’re dealing with religious trauma, spiritual abuse, or church hurt (grief, guilt, anxiety, fear of punishment, perfectionism, or difficulty trusting yourself after leaving) this is a space to slow down, breathe, and make sense of what happened to you.   
When you share what you’re going through, I’ll take it seriously and we’ll work at the pace that feels safe for you.  
If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. I offer a free 20-minute consultation so you can get a sense of whether we’d work well together.

It’s Hard to Explain What You’re Going Through  
​  
Maybe your faith used to give you identity, meaning, or belonging, but something has shifted.  
You’re questioning what you were taught.  
You’ve stepped back, or walked away, from a belief system that no longer feels like home.  
But even if leaving was the right choice, you’re left with grief, fear, anger; or a deep sense of disorientation.  
You may not be able to talk about it with your family or community. You may not even have the words for what you’re feeling.  
Therapy can be a space to explore the emotional weight of religious change and the effects of spiritual harm - without judgement, shame, or pressure to “get it right.”

​​​What You Might Be Feeling:  
​

- Loss of community, meaning, or certainty
- Fear of disappointing others or being “cast out”
- Anxiety, shame, or spiritual confusion
- Anger at what you were taught or how you were treated
- Guilt for questioning or leaving
- Grief for what faith once gave you
- Disorientation about who you are now
- Isolation in your current beliefs (or lack of them)

Why This Hurts So Much:  
​  
Faith deconstruction isn’t just an intellectual journey - it can be emotional, lonely, relational and sometimes traumatic.

You might be grieving:

- The loss of a spiritual home
- A version of God you can’t believe in anymore
- Childhood beliefs that shaped your identity
- Being harmed, silenced, or excluded by religion
- Relationships that no longer feel safe​

How Therapy Can Help with Faith Transition:  
​

- Make space for the grief, rage, and confusion of deconstruction
- Understand religious trauma or harmful spiritual experiences
- Reconnect with your voice, agency, and values
- Work through shame or fear about “going astray”
- Explore what spirituality, meaning, or belonging might look like now
- Feel less alone in your journey

My Approach:  
​​  
I’ve worked with people from a wide range of faith traditions - including Christian (evangelical, Catholic, charismatic etc), Muslim, and more - who are in the process of deconstructing or leaving religion.

I hold space for:

- Religious hurt
- LGBTQIA+ experiences of exclusion
- Former religious leaders and volunteers
- Previously committed believers
- Quiet doubters who feel stuck
- Those who still want to keep some connection to faith

This is a space where you don’t have to censor or curate your story; you can share exactly where you are at. 

Remote Therapy for Faith Deconstruction & Religious Abuse or Spiritual Abuse Recovery - Online Counselling

You don’t have to do this alone. Whether you’re quietly questioning or completely stepping away, therapy can support your process of healing, unlearning, and reclaiming your self.

Because religious trauma and spiritual harm can overlap with trauma symptoms, I’m trauma-informed and can support the therapeutic work. If you’re experiencing severe PTSD symptoms that require specialist assessment, I’ll help you find the right clinical support alongside our work.

[Book your free 20 min intro session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### LGBTQIA+ Therapy After a Religious Upbringing
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/lgbtqia-religious-trauma-therapy/
Last updated: 2026-08-23T20:14:15.000Z
An affirming space to untangle who you are from who you were told to be.  
​  
Growing up queer or gender-diverse in a religious environment often means learning to hide, edit, or suppress your true self just to stay safe and loved. Even after walking away from church or strict dogma, the echoes of that upbringing (shame, guilt, bodily disconnection, and fear of rejection) can quietly follow you into your adult relationships and self-worth.

​I provide online therapy across the UK for LGBTQIA+ adults navigating the complex intersection of sexuality, gender identity, and religious trauma.

Do You Recognize Any of This?  
​  
You don’t have to be actively in crisis to benefit from therapy. Many of my clients come to me experiencing:

- Internalized Shame: Feeling a persistent, underlying sense that something is "wrong" with you, even if you intellectually fully accept your LGBTQIA+ identity.
- "Ex-Religious" Hyper-Vigilance: Feeling unsafe or on edge, even in outwardly welcoming and LGBTQIA+ affirming spaces.
- Grief & Family Strain: Navigating complex relationships with religious family members, fear of rejection, or grieving the loss of community and conditional love.
- Purity Culture & Sex Struggles: Difficulty feeling present, safe, or uninhibited in physical intimacy due to inherited religious purity teachings.
- Exhaustion from Explaining: Wanting a therapist who understands church culture, language, and theology so you don't spend half your session defining terms.

How We Work Together:  
​  
I spent over 20 years inside religious communities. You will never have to justify your identity here, nor will you have to explain basic religious dynamics.

My approach is 100% LGBTQIA+ affirming and trauma-informed. I’m not here to debate theology, fix you, or tell you what to believe. My role is to help you heal the emotional wounds left by high-control religion, ground yourself in your authentic identity, and build a life rooted in self-compassion rather than fear.

​Healing from religious harm is a process, but you don't have to walk through it alone.

[Book your free 20 min intro session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Parenting After a High-Control Religious Upbringing
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/parenting-after-religious-trauma/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T17:22:06.000Z
Break the cycle of fear-based discipline and raise your children with confidence, warmth, and freedom.  
​  
Raising children is already one of life’s greatest challenges. But doing it while deconstructing your faith, or recovering from a strict, high-control religious background, adds a unique layer of complexity.

When you were taught that children are inherently sinful, that obedience must be enforced through fear, or that failing as a parent carries eternal consequences, stepping into a gentler, more compassionate style of parenting can feel terrifying and disorienting.  
I offer specialised online therapy across the UK to help ex-religious parents untangle inherited religious conditioning so they can parent with trust, boundary clarity, and deep emotional connection.

Common Struggles for Deconstructing Parents:

- If you grew up in a strict or high-control faith, you might find yourself wrestling with:
- Fear of "Ruining" Your Kids: Worrying that without strict religious rules, moral framework, or church community, your children won't grow up to be good people.
- Triggered Responses to Behaviour: Catching yourself overreacting with intense anger, fear, or panic when your child tests boundaries or asserts independence.
- Guilt Over Extended Family: Navigating awkward or high-conflict dynamics with religious grandparents who pressure you to bring your kids to church.
- Unlearning Fear-Based Discipline: Wanting to avoid punitive, shame-driven discipline, but feeling lost about what balanced, healthy boundaries actually look like in practice.
- Grief for Missing a "Village": Feeling isolated without the built-in community support church used to provide for young families.
- A Compassionate Space to Build Your Own Way

You don't have to repeat the patterns you inherited. Together, we will work to separate the helpful values you want to pass on from the harmful dogmas you wish to drop.

With over two decades of background in religious environments, I understand the weight of intergenerational religious expectations. In our sessions, we will address the anxiety behind your parenting choices, quiet the lingering guilt, and give you practical emotional tools to show up for your children as the grounded, loving parent you want to be.  
Start Parenting with Freedom & Peace.   
​  
Let's talk about how therapy can help you create a safe, warm home environment for the next generation.

[Book your free 20min intro session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Writing
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/blog/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T17:31:27.000Z
_No content available._
### Privacy Notice
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/privacy-notice/
Last updated: 2026-08-28T10:53:24.000Z
This privacy notice explains how David Cervera collects, uses, stores, and protects your personal data and clinical records. It also outlines your rights regarding your data under the UK GDPR and the Data (Use and Access) Act.

**1\. Who I Am (The Data Controller)**

I am a private therapist operating as a sole trader. For the purposes of data protection laws, I am the "Data Controller" of your personal information.

Name: David Cervera 

Contact Email: hello@davidcerveratherapy.com 

ICO Registration Number: ZB771817

**2\. The Data I Collect & Why I Process It**

To provide you with safe and professional therapeutic treatment, I need to collect and process several types of information about you:

- Contact & Administrative Information: Your name and email address. I use this to manage our appointments and contact you regarding sessions.
- Emergency Contact Information: If necessary I may gather the name and telephone number of a trusted contact or your GP. I only use this in emergency situations where I am concerned for your immediate safety.
- Special Category Data (Clinical Records): This includes brief session notes, psychological histories, health details, and any therapeutic assessments. I hold this data to guide our therapeutic work and ensure clinical safety.

**My Lawful Bases for Processing Data:**

Under data protection laws, I must have a valid legal reason to hold your data. My reasons are:

- Contract: I need your administrative and contact details to fulfil our agreement to provide therapy.
- Special Category Data (Health & Social Care): I process your health and clinical records under the specific legal basis that allows health professionals to provide healthcare and psychological treatment.

**3\. How Your Data Is Stored & Shared**

Your confidentiality is a foundational part of our therapeutic relationship. I will never sell or rent your data, and I do not use it for marketing purposes.

- Secure Storage: Your digital clinical notes and bookings are managed securely on my password-protected computer using encrypted storage. Digital payments are handled via secure bank transfer.
- Website Analytics: I use a lightweight, cookieless analytics tool called Umami to understand which pages are helpful to visitors. It does not set any cookies, track you across other websites, or store your IP address. If you prefer not to be counted in my statistics, you can easily block the script via your browser settings.
- Confidentiality Exceptions: I will keep all of your information strictly confidential unless I am legally or ethically required to share it. This only occurs if:
- I believe you or someone else is at risk of serious, imminent physical harm.
- I am ordered to do so by a court of law.
- It is a statutory requirement (such as reporting specific criminal acts under terrorism or money laundering laws).

**4\. How Long I Retain Your Records**

I do not keep your records indefinitely, but as a healthcare practitioner, I am required by professional insurance and clinical guidelines to retain them for a set period.

- Adult Records: Your clinical notes and contact records will be kept securely for \[check with your insurer: 5/7\] years following our final session. After this period, any existing paper files are securely shredded, and digital files are permanently deleted.
- Minor Records: For clients who were under 18 at the time of treatment, records are retained until their 25th birthday.

**5\. Your Data Protection Rights**

Under data protection law, you have several rights regarding the information I hold about you:

- The Right of Access (Subject Access Request): You can ask for a copy of the personal data and clinical notes I hold about you at any time. In accordance with the law, I will fulfil reasonable and proportionate requests within one calendar month.
- The Right to Rectification: You can ask me to correct any factual inaccuracies in your records.
- The Right to Restriction or Erasure: You can ask me to restrict or delete certain parts of your administrative data, though please note that I am legally and professionally required to retain core clinical notes for the retention period mentioned above.

**6\. How to Make a Data Protection Complaint**

If you have any concerns or are unhappy with how your personal data or clinical records are handled, you have the right to lodge a formal complaint directly with me.

To make a complaint, please email me at hello@davidcerveratherapy.com with the subject line "Data Protection Complaint."

- My Response Commitment: I will formally acknowledge your complaint within one calendar month of receiving it.
- Investigation: I will investigate your concerns thoroughly and without undue delay, keeping you updated on my progress.

If you remain unsatisfied with how I handle or resolve your complaint, you have the statutory right to escalate the matter to the UK data protection regulator:

Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) Website: [www.ico.org.uk](http://www.ico.org.uk/?ref=davidcerveratherapy.com) Helpline: 0303 123 1113
### Terms & Disclaimer
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/terms-disclaimer/
Last updated: 2026-08-28T11:01:40.000Z
**Educational Purposes Only** The information on this website is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute formal psychological evaluation, diagnosis, or clinical treatment. It is not a substitute for professional advice.

**No Therapeutic Relationship** Visiting this website, contacting me via email or social media, or reading my articles does not establish a therapist-client relationship. A professional relationship is only formed after we have completed an initial consultation and mutually agreed to proceed with therapy.

**Online** **Communication Security** Please note that communication through this website (including contact forms and standard email) is not encrypted and may not be secure. Do not send confidential information about your therapy via these channels unless we have specifically agreed on a secure method.

**In a Crisis?** This website is not suitable for emergency situations. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call NHS 111 for urgent support. If you are in immediate danger or at risk of self-harm, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. You can also contact the Samaritans 24/7 by calling 116 123.

**Intellectual Property** All content on this website, including text, graphics, and logos, is the property of David Cervera Therapy and is protected by copyright laws. You may share links to my work, but you may not reproduce or republish my content without prior written permission.\*\*
## Posts
### What is religious trauma?
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/signs-of-religious-trauma-and-how-therapy-helps/
Last updated: 2026-09-03T16:30:30.000Z
### Signs of religious trauma and how therapy helps (UK)

This article has been on my mind to write for the last few weeks because it’s at the heart of the work that I offer clients and at the heart of a number of my client’s stories.

Strangely though, I’m sat here now wondering what words will make up such a loaded and complicated subject. Especially because although I (along with nearly all therapists) work with clients’ “trauma” all the time, religious trauma has a different and unique scope that will be helpful to talk about as a separate and important experience.

So, some things I hope you get out of this fairly short piece of writing today:

1. If you’re looking for some understanding of your experiences in a religious setting that you know were not healthy, you can start matching some language to it. This means working out if the signs you’re experiencing point to unprocessed trauma.
2. A sense that hopefully it will help you know if therapy is something that would help you right now, or not!

### Let’s start with a definition…

I’ve been thinking about how to best word religious trauma, and something along these lines feels about right:

*Religious trauma is the lasting harm that comes from living inside a system where faith is used as a tool for control, through fear, shame, or the suppression of who you are. It isn’t just something that happened to you in the past; it’s the ongoing weight of navigating a world after you’ve walked away. It involves the spiritual abuse you endured while inside, and the disorienting loss of meaning and connection once you leave.*

Alongside so many other experiences, religious and spiritual trauma resides within us from very unique lived experiences. As this definition suggests, it can occur from one or many different scenarios within a religious or spiritual setting, whether that’s a church, mosque, synagogue, or other spiritual community. When thinking about power dynamics and religious leaders (ordained, paid, volunteer, or otherwise), something that you may have experienced in childhood, teenage years, or early adulthood could have stayed hidden within for many years and is now catching up with you.

James’s Story

James grew up in the church. It was a regular kind of church, not particularly charismatic or “ultra-religious.” Many of the congregation would attend out of religiosity, maybe even an unsaid superstition, rather than for some zealous hyper-spiritual reason. His mum took him along most Sundays and he grew up in Sunday school. A quiet and well-behaved kid, James wouldn’t answer back or even think to question anything he’d been taught.

In fact, James pretty much admired the leaders around him and saw the pastor as a warm and fatherly figure, someone he’d trust implicitly. James grew up, got involved in church, and was well-behaved, especially when it came to those in authority. James’s church leader and youth leader, like many, were kind humans (albeit with some conservative and orthodox views of the world), and this story doesn’t have any horrible twist.

James, however, grew up with some really heavy and confusing feelings around church and his own spirituality. In his late twenties, James began his journey of untangling the Christian web he had grown up in, and so began his faith deconstruction journey. It was a lonely and daunting path, but also one that brought to the surface these intense feelings that he felt he couldn’t connect to his lived experience.

After all, James’s memory was that of a kind and loving church upbringing; he had a few friends and no one did anything bad to him.

So why did this kind of childhood experience for James lead to such complicated behaviour and feelings?

Many of us will have had experiences like James, pretty unremarkable on the surface. But what has James been carrying all this time throughout his life in different spaces and relationships? It’s in these quiet stories that so much can go unchecked. Maybe some of the following are things you have experienced too that I imagine James would want to explore in therapy:

- Inability to make decisions without seeking external validation
- Hypervigilance to authority figures
- Feeling ‘empty’ when you’re alone with your thoughts
- Guilt and/or shame about past beliefs, doubt, or current lack of beliefs

One of the things that regularly comes up for clients is not being able to pinpoint a specific traumatic event. Trauma doesn’t necessarily come from a one-off event. It also doesn’t have to be from sexual or physical abuse or harm.

Perhaps some of your assumptions of trauma may shift when you begin to realise how your body is still reacting to the past and how your thinking doesn’t quite connect with your feeling.

In therapy, we look at how those early messages shaped your nervous system. We might explore how the need to please authority figures carried over into your relationships, or how the silence around doubt became a wall between you and yourself.

When we start to piece the puzzle together, we might think about your past, childhood, growing up, a bit like James. What kind of relationships were there that impacted him? With all these elements comes a greater self-awareness.

You might not be ready to talk yet, but do feel free to subscribe to my writings. This is a separate, yet I believe holistic, part of resourcing and equipping you without having to be in the therapy room.

If you are ready to work together or would like a short conversation to explore, I would love to hear from you.

[Get in touch today | free 20 minute call](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Do I need counselling for faith deconstruction, religious trauma or leaving church?
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/religioustraumacounselling/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:44:29.000Z
Wherever you are on the spectrum of faith and whatever stage of the journey you are on, so many walk it alone.

Unless you have grown up in a progressive or open-minded setting (at home or in your religious community), you are unlikely to have a social group or support that can sit with and hold all your doubts, fears, questions and developing feelings and changes.

So many of us travel the journey of faith deconstruction and leaving religion with such a great sense of loneliness. Our journey most likely at best involves dealing with our own sense of guilt or shame (unconsciously or consciously) and at worse having experienced religious trauma or spiritual trauma from some level of abuse and coercion – either at a personal or institutional level.

The majority of clients I have worked with have faced their journey in isolation out of fear of rejection, abandonment or punishment; some even remain within the religious environment despite their inner-world being completely reshaped.

It's incredible what the mind and body can withstand to ensure we remain in relationships, don’t let anyone down and ultimately, feel a sense of connection and security.

I would argue that a number faith communities – in my experience churches – can be a great social aspect of our lived experience and in some part, good for our mental wellbeing. Many people have life long relationships or marriages that stem their places of worship. Research has taken place in the UK to ascertain if remaining in religious environments, despite beliefs changing, is healthy – and many professionals would argue that it is not.

As someone who has been on the inside of churches, working on their staff team and having made great friends from within the church – I totally understand the urge to stay and live with it… but at what cost, in the long run will this have on our internal world and sense of self?

Therapy should not be about advising, recommending or pressuring you to leave your social circles, relationships, marriages or your religious community. Just because your beliefs have changed, and this is impacting your relationships, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a way of working with these challenges. If abuse and trauma are at the heart of your experience, I believe you hold the key to your healing – and this is at the centre of my counselling philosophy – that you know your world best of all.

Only you know what is best for you – even if you haven’t worked it all out yet.

There is so much space in counselling to explore all that you’ve gone through, it really is down to you to begin the process, and go at the speed you’d like to go at. Whether you are finding family dynamics challenging, theological teaching, scared to lose your friendships or partner, we can work through these areas together at a pace that allows for deep processing, careful consideration and life-changing reflection.

As with other areas of the therapeutic process, I work with what is happening in the here and now, past experiences and relationship and the early foundations of your life. What was life like growing up for you? I strongly believe that so much of our behaviour and relational patterns stem from early childhood – especially because of memories that we can not easily recall.

For many of us, we can grow up in a loving home and still have so many questions and curiosities about why things are the way they are – this is a common experience, but there is usually more to it than meets the eye. Part of exploring our faith deconstruction and decision to leave religion, is talking about our general life experiences – what led us on the journey, what led us to this point?

Painting a colourful background to what is happening in the here and now brings into focus past experiences that both negatively and positevely impact you today.

**Where do we begin in counselling?**

Of course, it can take some time to feel safe in the therapy journey to do this deeper work – there is absolutely no pressure to start in the deep end. You may wish to begin with where you are right now and what is impacting you so immediately.

Exploring what brings you to therapy happens in our first conversation and this can be anything big or small, urgent or relaxed. Everything is permissible.

**Is this for me?**

I guess there are a few responses to this!

You won’t know until you try? The idea of an introductory session (with me, this is a free 20 minute video call) gives you an sense of what it’s like to talk with me and I can give you some more information on how I can best support you.

**How long does therapy take?**

There are two forms of therapy: short-term and long-term.

Short term work is usually up to 12 sessions and focuses on a specific issue. I rarely work with short-term clients in this area (as alluded to in this article) because of how deep and wide the impact of spirituality is on our lives. However, if you have one particular issue to focus on, we can set out a short-term plan to work together on this.

Long-term therapy is anything over 12-20 weeks and doesn’t have a set time-frame which means we do regular informal reviews and can go at your pace.

**Can you fix my situation?**

This isn’t a silly question, even if it comes across as one. We all want to find healing and for our lives to be better – it’s only natural (especially in such a world filled with instant-gratification and transaction) that if you pay for a service, you might expect that I should be able to fix your issues.

The only thing is, that unfortunately no one can fix your issues – except you.

No one can bring about change in your world besides you. My role as your counsellor is to guide and facilitate this change – to help you see parts of yourself that you don’t realise exist. To help bring what is unknown (your unconscious world) into consciousness and to help you discover your true authentic self.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### How to stop feeling guilty for leaving your faith
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/how-to-stop-feeling-guilty-for-leaving-your-faith/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:44:05.000Z
Whether you’ve been a person of faith all your life, or for only a number of years, it’s valuable to reflect on how much faith becomes a part of who you are.

If you’ve reached a point where you are leaving behind your faith; you no longer believe, you’ve left your church, mosque or other religious setting - you’ve made a decision – ‘I can’t go back there’.

Perhaps this journey has been a long one, months or years of doubting, deconstructing your faith, questioning why things are said by the leadership - or whoever might be standing at the front that week.

I’ve been there, showing up to a church where week in week out I listened to things I no longer believed in, but was overthinking – how did it all add up? I’m currently part of a community where questions, doubts and deconstruction are the norm, but I also totally feel you if you’re not even there anymore either.

Whether from birth, or over recent years, the journey to leave faith behind is painful, anxiety inducing, nerve-wracking, confusing; it can lead to burn-out and depression, and at the very heart is a sense of guilt and shame for reaching a conclusion that at one point in time you never thought you would.

### But what about this guilt and shame? Where does it come from and what can you do about it?

### 

It’s very sad, but true that religion – of many varieties, and however welcoming and friendly – use fear on a deep level as a way of controlling and persuading people. I grew up in the Christian tradition, for those that did too, the following may resonate…

Since I was a young child ‘being a good boy’ was used at home, at church and at school to reinforce behaviour – all pretty normal… except at church, being good meant not being evil and being good meant I wasn’t just good in my parents or vicars eyes – but in God’s. It meant that I had nothing to fear because there was *nothing that could separate me* from God now that I was a Christian.

That was the rule – as long as I was a follower of Jesus, I was all good, God saw me like that, my parents saw me as that.

You can imagine then, how I felt whenever I did something I’d been told was *wrong* or *sinful*. That guilt and shame surfaced. The guilt I felt was conditioned in me for anything I did that wasn’t deemed good from an early early age. And this is why when we leave our faith – the psychological conditioning that we undergo in our faith communities is activated and our fear response triggered.

Before I was 18, I barely went out with friends… when I was in my twenties I made up for this… and gradually over the years of my late twenties and early thirties the domino effect of questioning, experiencing life and death and deconstructing led to a new way of being.

But today, I write this from a place of ongoing reflection, processing and journalling about where I currently sit in faith.

Shame and guilt are deeply rooted in the foundations of my faith tradition: if you don’t believe you don’t go to heaven, if you sin you are disobeying God and you’re not living a holy and good life. A word that comes to me here is: disappointing. I am disappointing God, and if my parents were to find out – disappointing them too.

Perhaps you feel the same? Maybe there are others too you need to hide this from…

As part of the process of deconstructing and doubting; hiding becomes a big part of the way of life. For many of us, we keep going and going and going… and then depending on our circumstances, we decide ‘I can’t do this anymore’

The hiding has become normal, but the guilt and shame of hiding remain.

Here are three things that can help with the normal feelings of guilt and shame:

**1) Finding Community.** Hiding the truth – so much of faith and religion is about finding truth. When you’re in a community that has a sense of belonging with an ultimate truth – then leaving the community or the central thinking behind leaves us with an emptiness – a sense of guilt or shame that you don’t really fit.

I suppose an antidote to this is finding a new place to feel that sense of belonging – whether that’s in someone you can confide in, or maybe another group of people going through the same thing – knowing you are not alone, because whether you’ve discovered this for yourself yet or not – you are certainly not alone in this. You could also start with therapeutic help – where being seen and heard for where you’re at will be met with care and kindness.

**2) Talking**. Ruminating on the sense of guilt and shame will only allow these thought processes to embed themselves and manifest into physiological responses: lack of sleep, nausea, heavy chest, lack of appetite – all the markers of anxiety and depression. Talking to someone about what you’re going through helps externalise and process in a healthier way. If therapy isn’t for you at this point and you don’t have a friend who would understand – why not go for a walk by yourself and record a voice note?

**3) Inner-change**. In time, as you sit and live and reflect, your inner voice becomes more and more powerful. You’ve lived your life to this point dependent on and in no doubt about other people’s words, thoughts and beliefs impressed upon you. This is why the process of leaving faith can be so painful and lonely. Where once words, promises, forgiveness, “truth” and even eternity filled your mind – now there is a void, a stillness… and a realisation that you got yourself here and only you can navigate what happens next.

I know how scary this can be – what does tomorrow look like now? What does the future look like without that community I was a part of, or without that old faith.

*I'm aware this raises more questions than it answers, and that's probably where you are right now: full of questions, not many answers, and not sure who to turn to…*

*If any of this resonates and you'd like to talk, I'd love to hear from you.*

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### What is Faith Deconstruction and why does it feel like grief?
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/what-is-faith-deconstruction-and-why-does-it-feel-like-grief/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:43:13.000Z
**Where it all begins.**

I guess everyone experiences faith deconstruction in different ways - perhaps each person's experience is unique, but they all contain (in one way or another) similar facets.

If you are fortunate to know anyone who has questioned their faith - then maybe you've connected over the same questions and doubts, found a connection in the loneliness and a relief when you realise theres' something so deeply *painful* about the whole foundation your world has been built on crumbling away.

In it's most clinical sense (!), faith deconstruction is the questioning, doubting, filtering, processing, doubting, questioning, sleepless nights, anxiety inducing moments in your religious space of everything you've known and been taught as doctrine; as truth.

**Faith deconstruction is the journey of all that doctrine being put to the test, bent, stretched, overthought, disregarded and fought over.**

**The First Domino Down**

For many it begins with a seed - a single question:

Do I believe that a God of love could send anyone to hell?

Would a God of love really allow all this suffering?

Do I really believe this scripture was 'God-breathed' or even inspired by God?

Was this entire institution just formed on fear and control?

For others it's all around them, it's traumatic and it's very experienced - if you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you will have been systemically targeted as a *sinner* or a *problem* your whole life and never made to feel your genuine self - in most religious settings anyway.

Perhaps you've volunteered for years and years under the pressure of performing, under the lies of some cosmic exchange for the feeling of being included, accepted and loved. But one day the light switch clicked and you realised that you're burnt out, you've been treated badly and you don't want to live like this anymore.

**The Relationship Burden**

The only issue is, that even some of these fundamental questions and experiences have formed not only our understanding of ourselves and our lived reality, but commonly are the shared experience of many of those around us who love us and form our closest relationships.

We grew up with these understandings from our parents, our primary caregivers - they were re-established by the priest, pastor, rabbi or imam and cemented by our own human and inate need to be in community with others.

This sense of relational connection is the **glue** that holds religious institutions together. Everyone wants to feel as though they belong, so they must believe what the others in the tribe also believe. For many this is never questioned - they complete their entire life staying in (as the author and Franciscan priest Richard Rohr calls) 'the child stage'.

On the other hand - deconstruction causes the glue to abrade, and what we're left with is what can be a very heartbreaking friction.

For the majority of those who deconstruct their faith, the silent grief and pain is a *very* *lonely* path because there is literally *no one* they can share this with - or at the very least - no one who would truly understand.

And the reality is that because the foundation of the spiritual, emotional and physical world of the deconstructionist is subsiding, there are usually only a three routes to take:

- turn back around and forget this ever happened
- reconstruct as best as possible (with many years, battles and headaches ahead)
- leave the whole thing behind: the religious institution, the relationships and all

All of these mean the very real fear of losing those most precious around them - including parents, children, spouses or partners and friends.

**The Bodily Cost and Nervous System Response**

Any three of these ways forward come at an incredible cost - not only relationally, but psychologically and therefore physiologically. I believe our bodies keep tabs of all our emotional experiences (especially ones that put us in fight/flight/freeze/fawn) - for many in the field of mental health and psychology - we call this tab: trauma.

The cost you may have already begun to experience may show itself in sleepless nights, worrying, panic - panic attacks, general to very acute anxiety - at the very least you may question what the future looks like, especially I imagine, how will your relationships be salvaged through this very wild journey.

Your body, will I'm sure, be already telling you in these ways (or others) how it is feeling about this uprooting. Nightmares, flashbacks, dissociation, repeating dreams, catastrophising can all be ways in which we begin to cope with the trauma inflicted on our bodies from our spiritual, emotional and relational structures being pulled apart.

We'll end there today, but I hope this connects in some way with your experience.

**Your Unique Experience**

As I mentioned at the start, you will have a unique experience of this journey. It will be different to mine in ways and similar in some.

It can be filled with very bleak days with dark clouds and big questions, but there is also a huge amount of hope - you have liberated yourself from a way of being that is not authentically you, but only what years of external voices and validation created.

It is time for rebuilding - whether that's in or out of your religious expression.

And the beauty of rebuilding means that you can take all that you've learnt from the process into a more genuine place of living.

Of course this may be so far from your current reality, and you may really need someone to talk to and help you today. That person you may already know, but if you don't and would like to talk to a qualified therapist, then I would love for you to reach out and see if we might connect.

Thinking of you on your journey as I know the grief can be so overwhelming and the journey so solitary.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Navigating the 'Sunday Scaries' of Faith Deconstruction
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/sunday-scaries-faith-deconstruction/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:43:33.000Z
## Doubt, Faith Deconstruction and Leaving the Church Behind

One of the most painful experiences for someone who has grown up in religion is the journey from questioning, doubting, and deconstructing to finally leaving a church community. The loneliness this creates can be *immense*. Often, we don’t have anyone to talk to about this. Friends and family may not be on the same road as us. If they found out, they might not understand (at best) or could disown us entirely.

### The Journey of Questioning

Perhaps you’re somewhere on this journey today. You might be questioning beliefs you've held for years. Maybe you’re trying another church *again* to see if something *feels right* this time. Or perhaps you’ve given it all up completely. If you look back five, ten, or even twenty years, you might be surprised to find yourself contemplating leaving your church community—especially if you’ve been heavily involved in volunteering or employed on the staff team.

For those still in it, waking up, travelling to, and sitting in church on a Sunday morning can feel akin to the dread many experience on a Sunday night before Monday rolls around. We call this the **Sunday Scaries**. It’s that feeling of being in a church community that seems to move in the opposite direction from what you believe. The words coming out of your mouth may suddenly feel dissonant to your inner worldview.

### The Weight of Expectations

Maybe you’ve stuck around in church because the people you love are there—perhaps even your spouse. What’s more, they don’t even know you’ve been having these thoughts and feelings.

*I just don’t think I believe any of this anymore.*

It all started with a non-issue. You might have thought, “I’m not that sure this thing *exactly* happened.” Then, you began to wonder about the context of the Bible. You might have thought, “The Bible was written in a different time; it wasn’t written with our understanding of contemporary relationships.” Eventually, you found yourself thinking, “I’ve stopped believing in hell, and I feel so much lighter. What else can I stop believing in to feel even **more** light?”

All these thoughts have been swirling inside you. Now, every time you hear *that* church leader, everything they say bothers you. You can’t shake these questions from your mind.

*I feel trapped and uncertain about where this is all heading.*

Panic fills your body, and you feel that anxious weight on your chest. How will you explain to *this person* or *that person* or your **partner** that you’ve ended up here? What’s more, how do you navigate the conversations and the journey ahead?

### The Amplified Experience

This might resonate with what you’re going through right now, or it may echo your story from years ago, with guilt still feeling suffocating. If you’re volunteering, in high demand, or on staff at a church, this experience can feel even more amplified. There’s no escape, no exit strategy. If there is one, it feels fantastical. The feeling of being *trapped* is multi-faceted because your relationships, your way of being, and even your livelihood are all enmeshed in it.

*There is so much for me to untangle.*

These stories are ones I’ve heard many times from different angles. I’ve experienced them myself in various ways. Many of us are still on the journey of moving forward, self-discovery, and figuring out what we *really* believe.

### Discovering Your True Self

Discovering your true self is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. It’s incredibly challenging to do this in an environment like a \[often high-control\] church, where there’s an expectation for you to fit in and agree with those around you. But how can you truly explore your own questions, doubts, and beliefs when there’s a constant voice in your mind telling you that you’re wrong, guilty, or a *sinner*?

If you’re reading this and you’ve moved beyond this stage—you’ve left and feel done—but you still need to connect and process, I’d love for you to reach out. We can explore what’s happening for you at your own pace—no judgement, no rush.

### Strategies for Self-Care

If you’re not quite ready to get in touch but would love something immediate, why not try a few strategies this Sunday?

1. **Sit at the back** (if you can!). Give yourself some space and permission to take a different posture.
2. **Write down how you’re feeling**—somewhere private, like your phone or a journal.
3. **Find something to do after church** to decompress. Engage in self-care, whether that’s exercise, enjoying your favourite comfort food, or maybe even taking a nap!

If you are ready and would like to get in touch, it would be an honour to meet you. I offer a free 20-minute intro session for us to connect and for you to decide if working together feels right for you.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### Why we keep repeating the same relationship patterns.
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/why-we-keep-repeating-the-same-relationship-patterns/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:42:41.000Z
Do you find yourself repeating the same arguments with your partner, getting into similar conflicts with friends or family, or letting people treat you in ways that frustrate or hurt you? Or maybe you avoid conflict altogether?

If so, you’re not alone. Many people seeking **therapy for relationships** notice these patterns, and almost every client I work with has struggled with them at some point.

So why do we keep repeating the same patterns, even when we desperately want things to be different?

At a basic level, repeated patterns in relationships are often influenced by:

- How our parents or primary caregivers modelled relationships
- Our sense of self-worth
- Our underlying fears

Much of my work on relationships with clients in **therapy** involves exploring one or more of these areas to create lasting change.

### **1\. How Our Childhood Shapes Adult Relationships**

Our childhood development plays a huge role in who we become as adults and how we interact in different types of relationships; whether romantic, platonic, professional, or familial.

Attachment style, which I’ll explore in a future post, significantly affects how we push and pull in relationships, and what drives our fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses.

You may have heard of ‘fight or flight,’ but ‘freeze’ and especially ‘fawn’ come up frequently in my therapeutic work. Many clients find themselves **people-pleasing or fawning** to prevent conflict or repair relationships quickly. Does that sound familiar?

Often, our parents never modelled healthy conflict resolution - or “rupture and repair” - in their own relationships. They may have fought constantly, or avoided conflict altogether. As a result, when we face challenging relationship scenarios, we often gravitate toward the easiest or most familiar solution, even if it doesn’t serve us.

### **2\. Self-Worth and Relationship Patterns**

How we value ourselves - and the beliefs we’ve internalised about our worth - deeply affects how we relate to others.

If you were taught to respect authority without question, or to suppress your feelings to avoid punishment, it’s understandable that you might tolerate inappropriate behaviour from a boss, partner, or friend.

Similarly, many clients hesitate to confront their partner or loved ones because of fear: fear that they might be abandoned, rejected, or that the other person can’t handle their emotions.

In **therapy**, we explore these fears and self-worth challenges, helping you respond in ways that feel safe, assertive, and authentic. Over time, this can help break the cycle of repeating patterns.

### **Why Therapy Can Help**

**Therapy for relationships** isn’t just for couples - it’s for anyone struggling with recurring patterns in their connections with parents, partners, friends, colleagues, or bosses.

Through reflection, insight, and practical tools, therapy can help you:

- Understand the roots of your relationship patterns
- Build healthier boundaries
- Communicate more effectively
- Feel more confident in your relationships

If you’re ready to break the cycle and create more fulfilling connections, talking **therapy can help you get there**.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### The Benefits of Online Therapy
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/the-benefits-of-online-therapy/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:42:15.000Z
## The Benefits of Online Counselling: Accessible Therapy from Home

More people are choosing online therapy in the UK. Why? It's convenient, confidential, flexible, and accessible. You can fit it around your life without the added time it takes to travel to and from a session. Imagine squeezing in a session during your lunch break or adding it to your weekday schedule from wherever you are. Plus, it opens the door to many excellent professional therapists who may not be local but are available to meet with you each week.

[Book a free intro session](https://www.davidcerveratherapy.com/contact?ref=davidcerveratherapy.com)

## What is Online Therapy?

Online therapy typically involves video calls from wherever you are. You might use your phone, laptop, or desktop computer for these sessions. However, it’s crucial that these sessions take place in a secure and confidential space. You need a place where no one can interrupt you, allowing you to open up and talk freely about what you need. Your therapist should have a similar setup.

In a traditional therapy room, the door is shut, and it’s soundproof. You’re aware of this when you walk in for the first time. With online therapy, you must create this space yourself. You also need to trust that your therapist has done the same to adhere to their professional ethics.

With online therapy, you should expect the same level of professional care and treatment from your therapist as you would in person.

![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_575d85c5b7e247d19e09554afb326527~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_740,h_416,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/11062b_575d85c5b7e247d19e09554afb326527~mv2.jpeg)

## How Does Online Counselling Work?

The process of entering into online counselling is quite similar to in-person therapy. First, reach out to the therapist and share a bit about yourself and why you’re seeking therapy. If you have something specific on your mind, let them know. This helps the therapist determine if they can work with you effectively.

Once you’ve made contact and received a response, you can arrange a consultation. In my practice, I offer a free 20-minute consultation. This is a chance for you to open up a little more, get to know how I work, and ask any questions. If you’d like to continue, we can book your first session during the consultation, or you can take your time to decide and let me know later.

At the start of each week, I send all my clients a video link via email. Usually, the day before the session, I send out an invoice as a courtesy message for payment and for our records.

I currently use Google Meets as my video platform. I’ve not encountered any issues with clients accessing the link for sessions. This means it’s hassle-free; you don’t need to download any software. You can also be reassured that this call is encrypted, confidential, and secure.

![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_96b2400caa3541b28a5b8e4e330738d5~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_740,h_416,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_96b2400caa3541b28a5b8e4e330738d5~mv2.jpg)

## The Benefits of Online Therapy

### Accessibility and Convenience

We live in a fast-paced world. It can feel like we need to fit in as much as possible each day to be "productive." Online therapy acknowledges that we all have a lot going on. If you work full-time, have a family, or a busy social life, finding time for in-person therapy can feel overwhelming. Online therapy provides a convenient way to slot a session into your week, carving out time for yourself and your well-being, whether you’re at work or home.

### Comfort and Familiar Environment

Wherever you choose to do online therapy, I hope it’s in an environment that feels comfortable for you. It should be confidential and secure. Maybe it’s a quiet room at work, or perhaps it’s your sofa at home, complete with a candle, a hot drink, and a cozy blanket. Online therapy makes the experience more tailored to your needs. Creating the best environment is crucial for a positive therapeutic experience.

### Continuity of Care

Consistency is vital in any style of therapy. That’s why I schedule a rhythmic pattern of working with clients. If you’re unsure whether to have fortnightly or monthly sessions, I encourage starting with weekly sessions for the first few months. This helps establish a strong relational foundation and ensures you feel continuity and momentum in the work. After a review period, we can adjust to fortnightly or less frequent sessions.

## Is Online Therapy Effective?

Research suggests, along with personal experience and extensive work with clients across the UK, that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face sessions. For all the reasons mentioned, online therapy ensures you have access to the right therapist for you, not just those who are local. It also allows you to create your own space for your session, helping you feel comfortable and relaxed in what can otherwise be an anxiety-inducing experience.

The effectiveness of the therapeutic work depends on the good facilitation, awareness, and experience of the practitioner, as well as the openness of the client to the work itself.

## Online Therapy for Different Needs

Once you’ve finished reading this, check out my [Therapy Services](https://www.davidcerveratherapy.com/post/the-benefits-of-online-therapy?ref=davidcerveratherapy.com) page. There, I outline all the different areas I commonly work with. These include life transitions, anxiety and depression, faith deconstruction, grief and loss, relationships and marriages, parenting, and overthinking. All these areas of pain and struggle can be addressed in online therapy. I have experience facilitating online sessions where these issues arise, helping clients explore their emotional and practical needs for the future.

## Choosing the Right Online Therapist

I am an integrative therapist. This means I tailor the therapeutic experience to each client. I believe every client is unique, with their own lived experiences—even if many presenting issues are similar. It’s essential for you, the client, to find a therapist you connect with on a relational level.

## How to Get Started with Online Therapy

I’d love to meet you to see if we could work well together. I want you to share what’s happening for you and why you’re considering therapy. Get in touch by clicking this button and sending me a message. I’m friendly, warm, and down to earth. I understand that starting therapy—especially for the first time—comes with a lot of unknowns and anxiety. But I assure you, if you want it to be, it can be a life-changing journey. I look forward to hearing from you!

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)
### What is Therapy Actually Like?
URL: https://davidcerveratherapy.com/what-is-therapy-actually-like/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:41:48.000Z
## 

## A Therapist's Honest Take

If you've never been in therapy before, the whole idea of sitting with someone you don't know, opening up and sharing some of your deepest thoughts and feelings can be utterly terrifying. I don't usually self-disclose, but I often tell clients in our opening sessions that I've felt nervous before every single therapy session I've ever had - the idea that we have no idea what might come up in a session I'm sure puts many many people off even signing up to this in the first place.

So before we've even decided we want sessions, we can make huge assumptions about what therapy is, what it might be like and what might happen to us if we go for it. There's lots to say on this, but here are three big things to consider as you engage with therapy, and consider working with me...

### We work at your pace

I work integratively, which means I draw upon many different theories, techniques and philosophies in working with clients and tailoring these different ideas to your personal experience. At the foundation of my practice is the client-centred or person-centred modality. This means that I believe you are the expert of your life. Despite working with lots of different people (some of whom have had similar experiences, or bring similar feelings), each client I work with and will continue to work with, has their own unique frame of reference and lived experience.

I believe it is vital to work at a pace you set - this means you bring what you need to (consciously or unconsciously) to each session and I work with what you bring.

### 

### It's called therapeutic *work* for a reason

I find it really important to emphasise at the start of our work together that there is no magic formula to make everything in your life better and for you to have a huge moment of self-realisation. For the majority of people, therapy is an accompaniment to life, it's long-term and it requires lots of hard work. Although I have had training to facilitate this work, I sadly don't have any magic to make everything exactly as you'd like it. So, for some people they know exactly what they want to work on and how they might get there - they just need some guidance. Others know that they need long-term support and just a space to offload... Lots of people, however, aren't really sure what they want or how to get to where they want to be... this can lead to a lot of frustration and very quickly bring up whether therapy is "working".

Therapy works for different people in different ways, the most important thing is to be open to it and remember that your therapist can't make everything better for you - as blunt as this might sound and come across - it's your life and you have to put things into action that which you want changed.

### Turning up, yet just *being*

Turning up - to sessions and to the ongoing reflective work, is what makes therapy "successful" for a lot of people. Using what we talk about in sessions, thinking about it, maybe putting things into action (if you're ready), coming back to the next session and processing some more, are the key steps to therapeutic change. Therapy takes honesty, humility, openness and tonnes of courage and perseverance.

Yet also, lets take the pressure OFF! Life is filled with lots and lots of doing - therapy can be an hour (50 minutes technically) of your week where you can find a pressure release valve, offload, unwind, sit in silence, or just unpack what's been happening for you. For those who would like to make therapy less goal orientated and more a part of their life week-in week-out, then the journey should be sustainable and liberating!

If you think this is for you - or it might be, then get in touch - click the button below - I would LOVE to hear from you.

[Book your free 20 min session](https://davidcerveratherapy.com/contact)